Relationships > Bullying What is bullying? Bullying is when one person or a group of people repeatedly hurts someone else. Bullying involves hurting someone who is often weaker or less confident. There are many types of bullying, and for young women, bullying usually involves more teasing and less hitting. Bullying is often done on purpose and it can happen anywhere, such as at school, in the park, on a sports team, or even at home. Often the person being bullied has a hard time defending herself. Bullying can be: Leaving out someone from group activities on purpose, such as being part of a clique and not letting others join. Ignoring someone or giving them the "silent treatment" Using the Internet, instant messenger, and/or e-mail to hurt others Making faces and/or bad gestures with your hands to someone Making faces and/or bad gestures with your hands to someone Using friends to get something you want, such as making friends with someone who is smart just so they can do your homework for you Making fun of someone for being "different" Forcing someone to do something embarrassing or dangerous in order to join a sports team or social group (also called hazing) Hitting, punching, and shoving Hair pulling, biting, and pinching Threatening and scaring others Name-calling, teasing, and gossiping Did you know that cliques often bully others? When cliques become exclusive and purposely leave out others as part of their circle of friends, this can cause hurt feelings. This is a type of bullying. Keep in mind that it is not bad to have a close group of friends. Yet, leaving out others from your group on purpose and picking on them is bullying! It is important to know that bullying happens everyday, and it is very common. Keep reading to find out more about bullying and how you can help put an end to it! Did you know? Around 5.7 million teens are involved in bullying as either the bully, a target of bullying, or both. 1 out of 4 young people are bullied. Almost 50% (half!) of all young people have been bullied at some time during their school years. Why do young women bully? Young women tease one another, spread rumors, and pick fights to be mean. Why? For most people, bullying is a way to feel better about themselves, feel important, and control other people. Young women also think they will be popular if they make fun of others and spread gossip. What they don't know is that bullying is not cool! Young women bully: Because others are doing it To become more popular To gain respect To get what they want To get attention To feel better about themselves To boost their confidence They think it is fun to hurt others' feelings To punish people they are jealous of Why do young women get bullied? Many young women who are bullied do not try to get out of the situation, mainly because they do not know what to do. You may think you are the only one going through it, but you are not alone! Many girls are bullied as teens. Some teens are so afraid of losing their friends that they go along with what others say and do, even if it is mean and hurts themselves or other people. So why do certain people get bullied? And why are they bullied more than others? Often, bullies target people they are jealous of or people they know will not fight back. Also, bullies pick on people who seem "different" from themselves or their friends. Many times, young women want so badly to fit in with the popular crowd, that they do not tell on bullies when they are picked on or made fun of. Why a young woman may be bullied without asking for help: She may be afraid to stand up for herself or voice her opinions. Amy's story: The school bully has been telling Amy that her clothes are ugly. Amy is shy and less likely to stand up for herself, which is probably why the bully chose to pick on her. Amy thinks that if she tells the bully she doesn't care what she thinks of her clothes, it will make things worse. She is too afraid to get help from anyone, especially adults; being a snitch is not cool. Megan's story: Rumors are going around that Megan had sex with someone at a party. It's not true, and her feelings are hurt that people are spreading lies about her. Megan doesn't want to tell an adult because she thinks it would not be cool. She may not have her friends around and feels unable to defend herself. Keisha's story: Keisha heads to the bathroom during lunch at school. The group of girls already in the bathroom makes fun of her and calls her names, because she is alone. She is seen as different from everyone else because of: age, weight, clothing, family, money, race, ethnicity, and religion; they may also have different ideas and hobbies that others think are weird. Fatima's story: Fatima, who is Muslim, wears a headscarf to class. She often gets teased and laughed at, because she is seen as different than the other kids at school. How can bullying hurt you? Not only can bullying hurt someone's feelings, it can have other more serious effects. Some problems can even last until you are an adult! Bullying can play a role in: Sadness, hurt feelings, loneliness, and even depression Poor body image, low self-esteem and even eating disorders, especially when teased about weight Skipping school, bad grades, and being afraid to go to school Headaches, stomach aches, and anxiety Trouble sleeping Thoughts and acts of suicide, in very bad cases Remember - Bullying others or being bullied can hurt someone both physically and emotionally and affect you long after you become an adult! Can being the bully hurt you? Did you know that being a bully can also cause serious problems? Young women who bully are more likely to drop out of school, have poor grades, use drugs, shoplift, and be involved in cliques at school. Bullies are just more likely to get in trouble, especially when they are caught bullying others. Would you want to always get in trouble, have bad grades, and hurt other people? Probably not! If youÕre still not convinced that bullying is bad, keep reading to learn more interesting facts. Childhood bullies are much more likely to commit a crime by age 24 Often, childhood bullies are violent when they are older Bullies take part in many bad things, such as drug and alcohol use, and smoking Childhood bullies may not change and may be bullies as adults Bullies are more likely to get into fights and steal What can you do if you see someone being bullied? Although you may not be directly involved in bullying, there may be times when you see others being bullied. If this is the case, you can help! Here's how you can make a difference: Don't join in on bullying. If you see someone being bullied, don't join in. If the bully tries to get you to help, refuse and walk away. Stop the rumors. Don't help spread rumors about another person. You wouldn't want rumors spread about you, so don't do it to someone else! If someone gossips to you, let it end with you don't pass it on to others. You can even tell that person you're not interested. Tell an adult. Don't just stand there and watch, especially if someone is being hurt physically. Tell an adult about the bully and what's going on. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe telling an adult, ask the adult to keep your comments private. Offer help. When the bully is gone, try and help the person who was bullied and make sure he or she is okay. Encourage her to talk to an adult and stick up for herself. Each time you help someone who is bullied and don't bully others, you are making a positive impact on someone's life and your own. What can you do if you are being bullied? You think you're a good person and you don't make anyone mad, at least not on purpose. So what do you do if you are bullied? Should you let it happen? Here are tips on what you can do if you are being bullied: Tell an adult. Many young women fear telling an adult because they don't want to look like a snitch or seem weak. However, adults can help end the bullying. Also, it may make you feel better to tell an adult. Stand up for yourself. Believe it or not, this will help you gain respect from others. Practice what you might say to a bully with a friend, your mirror, or an adult. Practice saying it in a firm, confident voice. You may even encourage others to protect themselves from bullying, too. Tell the Bully to stop. Calmly walk away. Believe in yourself and tell others how you feel and what you think. You will gain respect from others. Also, by leading the way and showing others that you can't be bullied, you can help prevent bullying in the future. You can also encourage others to protect themselves from bullying. Do not fight back! It's hard to do, but walk away from a bully and ignore them. If you give in to a bully and fight back, you could end up getting in trouble instead of the bully! If someone is hurting you physically, try to call for help or get away fast and get help from an adult. Lighten the air! Make a joke to lighten up the mood. Say something funny to distract the people involved. Make new friends and get involved. Making friends, and having interests and extracurricular activities, will make you feel better about yourself and the bullying situation. It will introduce you to people who share similar interests. When making friends, make sure you have positive friendships that are fun and free of bullying. DonÕt blame yourself. It's important for you to know that it's not your fault. No one deserves to be treated this way. If you're being bullied, try to stop it either by yourself or with help from an adult. Be strong! Bullies like to upset people, particularly those who can't stand up for themselves. Be in control so that the bully wonÕt feel in control. It's important to feel confident and have good self-esteem. Even if you don't feel it at the moment, acting like you do will help. You may find that you are pretty good at handling a bully after all, and the next time you won't have to fake the confidence. What can you do to prevent being bullied? Avoid bullies when you can Walk to school and eat lunch with a friend Act confident Stay near adults Believe in yourself Remember, "You are the Rhythm of the Universe." You set the tone for how life goes on around you. Speak up for yourself and what's good for you. What can you do if you are a bully? Many people may be bullies and not even know it! Once you realize that you are bullying others there are things you can do to stop. Here are tips so you can make a change and be a better person. Recognize and admit that you are a bully, and that your bullying actions are hurting people. Put yourself in their shoes. How do you think being bullied would make you feel? Try to understand how your actions make them feel. Make a change! Change your actions and be friendly to others. Form healthy relationships. Form positive relationships with people your age, as well as adults. Look within yourself. Find better ways to deal with anger and be happy such as keeping physically active, getting involved in extracurricular activities, developing positive friendships, and talking with an adult. Talk to an adult that you trust. If you want to change your bullying behaviors and become a nicer person, talk with an adult or a school counselor to learn how to ditch your bullying ways. You may need to talk with someone several times to help you as you grow out of bullying. Don't worry about getting into trouble. Adults would be proud of you for wanting to change your ways. If you find yourself wanting to bully others, stop and think about it. Look within yourself and try to figure out why you want to do this. Do you really want to get in trouble and make someone feel bad? The answer is likely no. So, find something else to make you happy like getting involved with a sport or a hobby. What can you do to prevent bullying in your school? Why not make a pledge to not bully others, to help those who are bullied, and to include others and not have them feel left out? This way, you can raise the awareness of bullying and get on the right path towards preventing bullying in your school. Also, the best way to get more involved with bullying prevention in your school is to encourage your parents and school personnel to get involved. Source: 4girls.gov < Back to Relationships Main Page