If you have had thoughts like these, you are not alone. These feelings
about how you look are called body image. Body image and self-esteem are tied
together since body image can be a part of how you feel about your whole self.
When you put yourself down about how you look, it can lead to negative feelings
about yourself in general.

If you start to have negative thoughts about your body and the way you look,
think about all of the special traits that make you who you are. Look at your
whole self –– body and mind –– in a positive way and write down what you see.

Remember:

You are beautiful!
You are one of a kind!
Real beauty comes from inside!

Read more about body image and eating disorders from Girl Power!

Feeling good about yourself:

Being a teen brings all sorts of new thoughts and feelings about different parts of
your life, such as how you feel about:

• your friends and other kids your age
  
• how you are doing in school and in other activities
  
• your parents
  
• the way you look
  

While having these new feelings, many changes are also taking place in your
body. It is normal to feel self-conscious or shy about the changes in your body
and emotions. Even though it might seem tough sometimes, remember that
you are absolutely great!


Self-esteem:

Self-esteem describes the value and respect you have for yourself. If you have a
healthy self-esteem, you feel good about yourself as a person and are proud of
what you can do. It is normal to have a hard time feeling good about yourself
sometimes.

Having a healthy or high self-esteem can help you to think positively, deal better
with stress, and boost your drive to work hard. Having low self-esteem can cause
you to feel uneasy and get in the way of doing things you might enjoy. For some,
low self-esteem can lead to serious problems such as depression, drug and
alcohol use and eating disorders.

What is stress?

Stress is what you feel when you react to pressure from others or from yourself.
Pressure can come from anywhere, including school, work, activities, friends, and
family members. You can also feel stress from the pressure of wanting to get
good grades or feel like you belong. Stress comes in many forms and everyone
feels stress.

Some things that cause stress:

•  school work
  
•  not feeling good about yourself
  
•  changes in your body
  
•  problems with friends, boyfriends, or other kids at school
  
•  living in a dangerous neighborhood
  
• peer pressure from friends to dress or act a certain way, or smoke, drink,
  or use drugs
  
• not fitting in or being part of a group
  
•  separation or divorce of parents
  
•  a family member who is ill
  
•  death of a loved one
  
• changing schools
  
• taking on too many activities at once
  
• not getting along with your parents or having problems at home
  
•  feeling lonely
  

There may be other things that cause stress that are not on this list. Also, it can
be very tough when more than one stressful event happens at the same time or
stress is ongoing.

Is stress always a bad thing?

No! A little bit of stress can work in a positive way. For instance, during a sports
competition, stress might push you to perform better. Also, without the stress of
deadlines, you might not be able to finish schoolwork or get to where you need to
be on time.

Signs that you are stressed out:

• feeling down, edgy, guilty or tired
  
• having headaches or stomachaches
  
• having trouble sleeping
  
• laughing or crying for no reason
  
• blaming others for bad things that happen to you
  
• not being able to see the positive side of a situation
  
• not enjoying activities that you used to enjoy
  
• feeling resentful of people or things you have to do
  
• feeling like you have too many things you have to do
  

11 Tips for Dealing with Stress

1) Put your body in motion.

Moving from the chair to the couch while watching TV is not being physically
active! Physical activity is one of the most important ways to keep stress away by
clearing your head and lifting your spirits. Physical activity also increases
endorphin levels –– the natural "feel-good" chemicals in the body that leave you
with a naturally happy feeling.

Whether you like full-fledged games of football, tennis, or roller hockey, or you
prefer walks with family and friends, it's important to get up, get out, and get
moving

2) Fuel up.

If your body was a car, you wouldn't go for a long drive without filling up the gas
tank first. Likewise, begin each day by eating breakfast to give you the energy
you need to tackle the day. Eating regular meals (this means no skipping dinner)
and taking time to enjoy them (nope, eating in the car on the way to practice
doesn't count) will make you feel better too.

Make sure to fuel up with fruits, vegetables, proteins (peanut butter, a chicken
sandwich, or a tuna salad) and grains (wheat bread, pasta, or some crackers) ––
these will give you the power you need to make it through those hectic days.

Don't be fooled by the jolt of energy you get from sodas and sugary snacks ––
this only lasts a short time, and once it wears off, you may feel sluggish and more
tired than usual. For that extra boost of energy to sail through history notes, math
class, and after school activities, grab a banana, some string cheese, or a graola
bar for some power-packed energy!

3) LOL (Laugh out loud)!

Some say that laughter is the best medicine –– well, in many cases, it is! Did you
know that it takes 15 facial muscles to laugh? Lots of laughing can make you feel
good –– and, that good feeling can stay with you even after the laughter stops.
So, head off stress with regular doses of laughter by watching a funny movie or
cartoons, reading a joke book (you may even learn some new jokes), or even
make up your own riddles –– laughter can make you feel like a new person!

Everyone has those days when they do something really silly or stupid –– instead
of getting upset with yourself, laugh out loud! No one's perfect! Life should be
about having fun. So, lighten up!

4) Have fun with friends.

Being with people you like is always a good way to ditch your stress. Get a group
together to go to the movies, shoot some hoops, listen to music, or play a board
game –– or just hang out and talk. Friends can help you work through your
problems and let you see the brighter side of things.

5) Spill to someone you trust.

Instead of keeping your feelings bottled up inside, talk to someone you trust or
respect about what's bothering you. It could be a friend, a parent, a friend's
parent, someone in your family or from your religious community, or a teacher.
Talking out your problems and seeing them from a different view might help you
figure out ways to deal with them. Just remember, you don't have to go at it
alone!

6) Take time to chill.

Pick a comfy spot to sit and read, daydream, or even take a snooze. Listen to
your favorite music. Work on a relaxing project like putting together a puzzle or
making jewelry.

Stress can sometimes make you feel like a tight rubber band –– stretched to the
limit! If this happens, take a few deep breaths to help yourself unwind. If you're
in the middle of an impossible homework problem, take a break! Finding time to
relax after (and sometimes during) a hectic day or week can make all the
difference.

7) Catch some zzz’’s ...

Fatigue is a best friend to stress. When you don't get enough sleep, it's hard to
deal –– you may feel tired, cranky, or you may have trouble thinking clearly.
When you're overtired, a problem may seem much bigger than it actually is. You
may have a hard time doing a school assignment that usually seems easy, you
don't do your best in sports or any physical activity, or you may have an
argument with your friends over something really stupid. 

Sleep is a big deal! Getting the right amount of sleep is especially important for
kids your age. Most teens need between 8.5 and just over 9 hours of sleep each
night. Because your body (and mind) is changing and developing, it requires
more sleep to re-charge for the next day. So don't resist, get those zzz's!

8) Keep a journal.

If you're having one of those crazy days when nothing goes right, it's a good idea
to write things down in a journal to get it off of your chest –– like how you feel,
what's going on in your life, and things you'd like to accomplish. You could even
write down what you do when you're faced with a stressful situation, and then
look back and think about how you handled it later. So, find a quiet spot, grab a
notebook and pen, and start writing!

9) Get it together.

Too much to do but not enough time? Forgot your homework? Feeling
overwhelmed or forgetful? Being unprepared for school, practice, or other
activities can make for a very stressful day!

Getting everything done can be a challenge, but all you have to do is plan a little
and get organized.  For tips on how to get organized, click here.

10) Lend a hand.

Get involved in an activity that helps others. It's almost impossible to feel
stressed out when you're helping someone else. It's also a great way to find out
about yourself and the special talents you never knew you had! Signing up for a
service project is a good idea, but helping others is as easy as saying hello,
holding a door, or volunteering to keep a neighbor's pet. If you want to get
involved in a more organized volunteer program, try working at a local recreation
center, or helping with an after school program. The feeling you will get from
helping others is greater than you can imagine!

11) Learn ways to better deal with anger.

It is totally normal to be angry sometimes –– everyone gets mad at some point.
And as a teen, the changing hormones in your body can cause you to feel mad
for what seems like no good reason sometimes. The important thing is to deal
with your anger in a healthy way. It will help to cool down first and then focus on
positive solutions to problems. This will help you to communicate better with the
people in your life, and you can even earn more respect along the way. So, the
next time something really has you fired up, try these steps from TeensHealth:

• Try to calm yourself down before doing or saying anything.
  
• Tell the other person what the problem is and how it makes you feel.
  
• Try to think of some solutions. What would the good and bad results of those solutions be?
  
• Explain your solution to the person you are upset with and try to put it into action together.
  

How can you deal with the stress of a disaster, or a violent or
tragic event?

Whether or not you were directly affected by a disaster or violent event, it is
normal to feel nervous about your own safety and wonder how you would react in
an emergency. People react in different ways to trauma or scary events. Some
become cranky or depressed, others lose sleep or have nightmares, and some
people put the event out of their minds.

Here are some things you can do to handle this special kind of stress:

You may think it feels better to pretend the event did not happen, but it is best to
be honest about how you are feeling. Ignoring or hiding your feelings can be
worse for your health in the long run. Tell yourself it is okay to feel scared and
uncertain.

Try to remember that, while you might feel like a changed person and everything
seems off balance right now, your life will calm down and you will find a new
normal groove.

Talk to a teacher, your parents, or a counselor about your sadness, anger, and
other emotions. It can be tough to get started, but it is important to confide in
someone you trust about your thoughts and feelings.

It is common to want to strike back at people who have caused you or those you
love great pain. This feeling is normal, but it is important to understand that it is
useless to respond with more violence. Nothing good can come from using hateful
words or actions.

While you will always remember and feel changed by the event, the feelings will
become less painful over time. In learning to cope with tragedy, you will become
stronger and better at handling stressful situations. You may also find yourself
appreciating life and the people you love even more.

Can stress lead to more serious problems?

Yes! Struggling with major stress and low self-esteem issues can lead to more
serious problems such as eating disorders, hurting yourself, alcohol and drug
abuse, and even suicide. It is not okay to be so hard on yourself that it leads to
thoughts about hurting or killing yourself. If you feel like giving up, or if you think
things will never get better, it is time to get help. Talk to an adult you trust right
away!

To get help, call the National Youth Crisis Hotline at (800) 448-4663.

Source: 4girls.gov

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